Bay St. for Boost - Auction Preview
The creation of this painting speaks to the resilience of the human spirit and embodies one of the most personal stories of my life. Look closely and you will find remnants of a torn up letter – sentence fragments, words, and individual letters of the alphabet – which once belonged to a suicide letter that I wrote and carried around with me. I was tired of being an abuse survivor and wanted to put an end to the memories that haunted me. I had suffered long enough and viewed death as a rite of passage. I coveted the thought of living in peace but somehow by way of perfect timing, a friend happened by my studio in the exact moment I was contemplating ending my life. Because of her influence and my internal locus of control, I chose to live.
I surrendered to the uncertainties of the future and tore up the letter. Tiny pieces of it fell onto my working table. I gathered the shreds and put them into a bowl. I decided I would paint my pain away and made a yellow paper mache mix out of the pieces. I walked over to an already installed canvas on one of my studio walls, fell to my knees and began smearing the letter pieces onto the canvas. I wept because I knew my will to live was greater than my desire to die.
I put an end to the dark thoughts and painted for hours until my friend returned to the studio to see if I was okay. I was covered in paint and she knew by the look in my eyes that something tremendous had manifested out of all of this darkness. She walked to the opposite side of the room, turned around to look at the painting and gasped. She remarked at how alive the painting was and said it made her feel like she was walking into spring.
The painting took several months to finish and as a reminder of how close I came to ending my beautiful life, I named it, “The Letter Alive”. It is the single most significant piece of art I have ever created. It reminds me that no matter how difficult life is, one can survive and that although thoughts of suicide or self harm might be natural, they do not need to be acted upon. The painting also reminds me to walk with gentleness in the world each day.
As an abuse survivor, I am proud to donate this piece to the Boost for Kids foundation because once upon a time, no such voice spoke for me – a child in desperate need of angels to rescue her from the monsters and from herself. Without a doubt, this foundation will positively influence and save lives and I am honoured to contribute to the inaugural event in the hopes that the funds raised will help facilitate multiple champions of children.
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